fast approaching.

the new year is now so close i can taste it. i think i have slowly come to realise that i am ready to move forward. this is the first year in which i can say 'yes, i am done with this year and ready to begin a new chapter'. most years i get to this time of year and i begin to panic and my anxiety becomes quite severe, as i am afraid of change for the most part. I think, though, that certain people this year have really influenced me and taught me not to fear the future but embrace it and look forward to it.

Anyway, these photos are from a shoot i did with a friend. we were walking the streets at midnight which in retrospect was probably not the best idea but i think i got some alright shots.

I hope that every one enjoyed their christmas and break and that you all embrace everything that 2010 brings!

jusqu'à la prochaine fois.

t-t-time.

well, it's christmas morning and everyone in my family is still asleep at 9am. i don't think i have ever been this un-excited for christmas in all my 17 years of life. i think as you grow up, chrtistmas becomes a little less exciting and a bit more....i don't know...just like any other day i guess. when i was 7 i went to the family christmas lunches and got lots of presents and ate too much. now i eat too much, but you realise that the presents are useless and better put into an oxfam gift of a goat or a water well. having said this, i do still enjoy the gifts i get from parents, as they know what i actually want. but the gifts you receive from your aunty, grandma and cousins from another state are usually things like a bar of soap of a book on flys, that you look at and realise how little your family knows you.

now when i go to the lunches 10 years later i see the passive aggressive anger my family hold for one another, and my teenage cousins who looks like they don't want to be there. but in christmas spirit, like most of the holidays, the main focus is put on the little kids, and i am sure that my cousins are looking forward to opening oodles of presents and believing in santa. and how i wish i could join them with that same excitement. but alas, i am a 'big kid' now and everyone knows that santa doesn't bring the 'big kids' presents, because santa is simply a fat guy in a suit that enjoys children sitting on his lap in shopping centres.

i am sure this all sounds very pessimistic, but all this aside, i do enjoy getting together with family, as we all know that family are forever. mum, in all her excitement and love for christmas and giving presents to the little ones, found a fake tree on the side of the road and picked it up. so looks like it is a second hand christmas for us. and you know what, i am completely fine with that :)

i hope that you all have a marvellous christmas and a restful time with your families and friends.

jusqu'à la prochaine fois.

lies.

i despise people lying. there is always that one trait that you value in people. whether it be honesty or courage or optimism. i value them all, but i need to have trust in those around me. but suddenly i feel like my friends are lying to me. and i cannot stand it, to the point where i find myself angry and upset. if you cant trust someone, your entire perception of the world and the people in it begin to change. i feel like everything is warped and that i just need to surround myself with positive people i can trust. after all, trust is very hard to rebuild.

jusqu'à la prochaine fois.

lost.

it's strange, the idea of losing people. not to death but literally losing people to the point where they may as well be dead. hear me out on this (bus rides to work are boring and i think strange things). say you have a friend that you have known your whole life and they leave to go to, say, india and live there. if you have no contact with them and lose the friendship, it's like 'losing' a person in your life, except with technology what it is today, they are usually easily found. i guess that's the difference with the different generations. if my grandparents had a friend who went overseas, it would be much more difficult to keep in touch with them. where as our generation hardly notices the person is gone as they are permanently on the internet talking to them through face book or skype anyway. ok, i am done with my ramble! work is nearly finished, although there is no way that i am going to be finished with the work goal after another three days of work. it seems humanly impossible at this point, but we shall see. busy weekend ahead which will be awfully tiring but very exciting. hopefully taking a lot of new photos over the next couple of days so i will be sure to keep you in the loop.

jusqu'à la prochaine fois.

'the results you achieve will be in direct proportion to the effort you apply'.

that quote came from denis waitley. no idea who that is? yeh me either. point is i recieved my results for my year 12 subject (biology) yesterday. now when i look at that quote, i get kind of mad, because no matter how much work some people put in, they will never do as well as they want. my result was alright, but very frustrating because i soo wanted a certain score, and got a score that was one point below that. i got on the computer on monday morning and logged on and enetered in my information on the website and my result popped up. there were instant tears, mainly from relief that i didn't get a really bad mark. when you are waiting so long for results you start to second guess yourself and your mind starts telling you you have done badly. then the tears just turned into frustration because i wanted a higher score. but as the glee kids so succinctly put it, 'you can't always get what you want'.

in better news, holidays are going well. i pulled out my skateboard again but quite honestly i am scared im going to break bones if i go on it for too long. im one of those crazy folk who seem to prefer their bones intact. call me old fashioned.

i have today off from work, which is nice as it gives me some time to begin the re-arranging of my room. i want to move a chair out and need to put a desk upstairs so i have a place to work next year for year 12. i don't think much else exciting is happeneing. congratulations to my best friend who got an enter to get her into her course, im like an embarrassing parents, and i am so proud of her. anyway, i'll be off. this photos is my my attempt at the whole zoom whilst shooting effect, sort of makes me dizzy looking at the result though! please feel free to give me feedback on the photos and stay well!

jusqu'à la prochaine fois.

cater-waitress.

so for the beginning of our year 12 duty as prefects, some people had to help and be waitresses for a night. a group of prefects and i all volunteered to help out. i must say, it is the most fun i have had working ever. we hardly had to serve at all, and instead just cleaned the glasses and trays, ate ice and played around in the hospitality rooms. and although there was a slight accident with a broken glass, overall it was a very good night. holidays are going really well, but i think i should be doing more of my holiday homework and reading. and although im doing what i like in art (photography) i am sort of lacking the other modes, such as painting, sketching etc. will have to have a play on photo shop soon and get familiar with warping and changing around photos. it was such a gorgeous day today. blue skies and sun, summer is finally rearing it's head!! hope you are all well and doing what you love!!

jusqu'à la prochaine fois.

self respect.

i think self respect is a big issue in today's society, because nearly no one has it. people don't realise how amazing they are and what they are capable of. a lot of my friends have disappointed me recently, because i've found myself thinking 'wow, when did you lose all respect for yourself'. i may be wrong, but it seems to be a larger issue with girls, the ones who are willing to trawl themselves all over men, with most of them complaining that they really want companionship and a long term relationship of some sort. hello!? how do you expect a guy to take you seriously if you cant take yourself seriously. when you get drunk and do who knows what with guys, why should they take you seriously? when women act this way, they are saying to men that it is ok to treat women like meat. now i understand that the media also play a large role in this self hate process, but people need to realise that they have something. it may be their voice, their art, or even their brains. the fact of the matter is there is a serious lack of respect going around and it is frankly sickening. when it comes to my posts, sorry they have been lagging a little. i started work this week with three days straight working 9-5. what a way to make a living ey?

jusqu'à la prochaine fois.

donuts and flightless mammals.

i seem to always over estimate how much i can eat. my friend and i planned to eat four sushi rolls, candy, six donuts and soft drink in the space of about 30 minutes. needless to say, we didn't quite make that milestone. got me thinking though; how we eat so much more than is necessary to keep ourselves alive. quite greedy of us really, considering the famine over the other side of the world. you would think that someone would implement some sort of system in where our world food supply was spread out across the entire globe to fuel global obesity. i know, im a dreamer, but in the words of lennon, "im not the only one". also, started some of my holiday homework for maths. already struggling through some of it, which is a worry! anyway, have to keep it short folks, got to hop in the shower and power through some 'paper work' so i can fuel my television addiction!

jusqu'à la prochaine fois.

cleanliness is next to godliness.

after getting messy i always feel the need to clean everything in sight. i spent friday night at my friends 17th party. i crashed at my friends house, and got about 3 hours of restless sleep thanks to a mosquito that felt the need to buzz in my ear and keep me awake half the night. it also bit me right on the lip, so mosquito, if you're reading this, call me *wink*. but in all seriousness, it was a good night and i took some shots which i shall insert above. when i returned home on saturday, i was met with my bedroom that i could not get into because there was clothes, bags and books all over the floor. so i cleaned my room, but i didn't clean so much as organise all my clothes and throw out all those old clothes and shoes that you say you'll keep 'just in case' except you never ever wear them. so now it looks like an obsessive compulsive chipmunk ran through my room, but it won't last long. i also start work on wednesday. fun.

jusqu'à la prochaine fois.

shine on.

i love it when a day that is put aside to do a certain thing passes, and you realise as the sun goes down that although you didn't do what you'd planned, you still had a fantastic day. the day was not wasted, but rather took a different direction than initially intended. well, that was what happened to me today. my friend charlotte and i set out to visit some art galleries and get inspired. we took the trip into the city and then a trip of about 30 minutes back out on a tram to come to a house in place of where the art gallery was supposed to be. now, this house was supposed to be a gallery of RMIT artwork, so the fact that we were standing in front of a house in the middle of nowhere after a trip of about an hour was quite disheartening, but never then less we went back into the city centre, sat in a cafe, ate pizza, drank and talked about life. then we went in search of another gallery which we also could not find. we realised that the big guy was trying to tell us that the art gallery just wasn't where we were supposed to be today. so instead we ate, walked a lot and got hit on by police officers. nice to know there is no corruption in our fair city.

jusqu'à la prochaine fois.

costco.

hard core consumerism makes me feel ill. i spent sunday at the docklands, and as far as i know this is the only place in victoria that there is a costco wholesale store. so after lunch my family and i went to check out this piece of american life; and i walked out shocked and disgusted. there was a huge line outside the store, which we thought was to enter the store. turns out it was a long line to get a membership for costco, as that is the only way that you can shop there. yes, you heard me, a membership just to shop at what is essentially a large supermarket. there was no way we were paying for a membership to walk into the store, so we were allowed access to the store in order to 'browse' as the woman at the front put it. essentially, we were allowed into the store to look around but now allowed to purchase anything if we wished to do so. i don't know if it is just me, but this stores ethics seem wrong on so many levels. in actual life events, had to go back into school today to tie up loose ends, and the weather was so obedient and amazing. my new lisa ho 'boyfriend' jeans are so comfortable and amazing. and to think, i paid two dollars for them. these photos are just shots i took of melbourne and the endless amounts of seagulls that occupy summer. was feeling black and white tonight, so thought i would go with my feelings and desaturate them both.

jusqu'à la prochaine fois.

the best thing one can do when it's raining is to let it rain.

interesting thing about melbourne is that it has some of the most unpredictable weather in the world. here in sunny old melbourne we have had about a week straight of great weather, at about 30 degrees (celsius). yesterday, the weather decided it was moody, and it has been raining for about the last 24 hours, with temperature now at about 14 degrees. in other news, i am free of school. officially. tout fini. i start working in about a week, and in between work i plan to party and photograph, and eventually look at my holiday homework. to all of you approaching winter, my heart goes out to you, as i have never been in weather lower than about 3 degrees, and i find this rain, although it smells absolument magnifique, a bit of a downer. now, although i adore photography, i am not much of an artist in other modes, particuarly sketching and life drawing. starting art next year, i am beginning to feel the pressure to get better at drawing and thought the best way to do this is to combine what i know with what i need to learn. so, i am picking my favourite photographs and photos from my photography magazines (GUP especially) and sketching them. i have a long way to go, but it's a start i suppose, and it fills these rainy days.

jusqu'à la prochaine fois.

coke and wedges.

school is so pointless this week, and it's fantastic! i take myself off to an orientation for maths, then i get my english exam returned to me and then i go down the street to a cafe with my friends and sit there for almost three hours until the end of the day when i have my next orientation or exam return. i have 3/5 of my exams back (history, english and maths). they're all going really well, just waiting on literature and philosophy. i still don't know if dropping philosophy is the right move; i am so indecisive when it comes to that damn subject! anyway, these photos are from earlier in the year when i went away to the beautiful victorian countryside; it was such stunning scenery! will shoot some new photos very soon. have a couple of photos hoots lined up in my head, just have to find my models :)

jusqu'à la prochaine fois.

farewell plato, you will be sorely missed.

so many exciting things to tell you all. it's all over red rover. i can finally say it without any exceptions. exams are over, and i am looking at more than 10 weeks of summer and freedom in just three days. my philosophy exam was on monday, and although mill's utilitarianism threw me off i did ok, considering my illness over the weekend, and the fact i spent saturday night out with my fabulous girls. i am suffering from that decision, as i can hardly talk and my throat is killing me, but this is the price we pay i suppose. i had my art orientation today; and it was possibly the most exciting and inspiring thing i have heard in a long time. it saw me sketching whilst waiting for my train and thinking of all sorts of things i could photograph over the summer. dad has said i may be getting the new canon eos 7d for christmas, which is beyond exciting and an absolute dream. being on holidays also means i can fall back into endless days of watching television. at the moment my shows and gossip girl and californication. season 3 of californication has been phenomenal, and gossip girl goes without saying! i hope you are all well, and that wherever you are in the world, in the summer or winter, that you take a look around you and go take a photograph of something you see; i know i definitely will be :)

jusqu'à la prochaine fois.

sickly sweet.

exams are over; well, pretty much. i have my last exam on monday which is philosophy, and i still havent started my study (reassuring huh?). thursday were my last exams, which was english and maths. three hours of writing and then two hours of being mathematical. and the gym where we di the exams was really hot from more than four days over thirty, so the heat had time to accumulate (yay!). after exams i went to pick up my new ray bans, bought some art supplies and three seasons of will and grace. woke up friday and im sick. yes that's right....sick. my body was working so hard to fight off whatever i had through my exam period and as soon as i relaxed....it got me. so now im sick and not looking forward to my exam on monday. in more positive news, i pulled out my underwater camera...so i will get some underwater shots in the next couple of days hopefully. these photos are from last night. went over to my friends house to help her get ready and such for a night out. you should also have a look at her blog if you're into shiny things and fashion.
update: unlocked the daft punk remixes for dj hero. nothing more needs to be said :)

jusqu'à la prochaine fois.

a disappointing surprise.

i officially can't stand change when it comes to things regarding my childhood! whenever i used to buy kinder surprises as a child, you would open them up; the chocolate tasted good but for the first time you weren't interested in the chocolate, it was the toy that you wanted, well for me at least. i would open up the little egg shaped thing the toy came in, and be amazed at all the tiny pieces of plastic they could fit inside the egg shaped canister. these toys, for those of you that don't know, came in tiny little pieces with a sheet of stickers. you would spill the pieces out onto the floor, sit down with them and build it. i am 17 now, so i am no longer a child (sort of) but i still treat myself with kinder surprises. lately, however, the toys i am getting do not have stickers. not only do they not have stickers, they don't even have multiple pieces to assemble. you open up the canister, and out falls a ready made, stickered toy. this is what happened to me today; not once, but twice. oh yes ladies and gentleman, i bought two kinder surprises to avoid the heart ache of a stuffy toy. but instead i got two stuffy toys, so i hacked them; it was a stress reliever. this isn't just me who is scarred by these goings on; i have heard from multiple melbournians who suffer the same soul crushing pain. leave a comment letting me know what silly trivial thing really ticks you off. the childhood version of me is throwing a serious tantrum.
note: bare with me when it comes to this shocking editing and photography. exams are nearly over!

jusqu'à la prochaine fois.

emma.

just want to say, i adore the summer skies; the colours of blues and red. went swimming yesterday for the first time this year, shows summer is here. ok enough of my summer lovin', onto what im here to talk about. if you'll refer down a couple of posts you'll see a large dog that looks almost like a sheep. that dog is emma, and the photograph above is also emma. confused? every year when it starts to get warm, she starts to get really hot under that pile of hair. so every year she gets taken off and....sheared (i know its a term for sheep, but they can't get scissors or clippers anywhere near her. now, this hair cut isn't a problem; and although it makes her look funny she also gets utterly pathetic. she mopes around the house like the world is out to get her, and expects cuddle and pats from everyone. its funny to watch her become like a child. yesterday mum took her out for a walk and she got sunburnt. i laughed and she looked like she hated us all for doing these cruel things to her.
note to readers: if anyone is thinking of getting dj hero, you probably should. my brother got it yesterday and its been very distracting to my exam study. it's addictive and has some good remixes.

jusqu'à la prochaine fois.

happy 7/11 day.

what an utter disaster this was! don't get me wrong, they probably started the day off well, and had enough slurpee to go around. however, when it's a 30 degree day and people know they can get free slurpees, they're going to go and get them. the 7/11 near my house really couldn't cope with this high demand for slurpees. my friend and i walked up to get our slurpees, but were greeted by a very alarming amount of people queuing up out the door. eventually got our slurpees; they were basically liquid and utterly disguising!

jusqu'à la prochaine fois.

school daze.

last day of year 11 classes today; it was a good day. walked into school to find the teacher had got us cake, so we had a table covered in chocolate cake; we ate cake for a large majority of the day. can't say i got a lot of work done in class. received my essay on' 2001: a space odyssey' back; did pretty well. the more we study that film, the more i enjoyed it and enjoyed studying the intricate relationship between man and machine. had philosophy last; there was honestly no point being there, could have gone home at lunch. anyway, it was a fun class and we watched you tube videos. sure didn't add to my revision for exams though.

jusqu'à la prochaine fois.

out of sorts.

i am struggling to make it to the end of this year, more namely school. i have another six exams and i haven't started studying. after biology i have absoloutely no drive to study, and all i want to do is go outside and photograph the world and paint and sketch to my heart's content. i am also in love with gossip girl season 3, almost as in love with this season as i have been with all the others! these shots are quite old, but it was a great shoot with a girl that i am missing a lot at the moment.

jusqu'à la prochaine fois.

another first.

i am full of firsts this week. i sat my first year 12 exam on monday, hence why i have not posted for a week (sorry!). not only that, but the other night there was lightning, and i knew that i had to go to bed because i needed sleep for the exam, but my photographers side raced downstairs, grabbed my tripod and my camera and started snapping away. now, for those of you who have shot lightning, im sure you have tips and tricks (welcome to let me know in the comments), but i am an amateur at lightning photography and had not much of an idea what i was doing. i simply snapped and snapped and snapped. i got one, and the result is above. it's nothing too focussed or anything, but it was exciting to get my first lightning shot. the other shot leaves alot to be desired and covered in noise, but there's a small yellow flash of cloud down in the bottom to the left. i don't know what it is, but it was flashing all night. in life news, it feels fantastic to have my exam done, and to know summer is the next thing im looking forward to. thanks for everyone's patience while ive been away studying hard!

jusqu'à la prochaine fois.

not so lazy saturdays.

the weather is progressively becoming nicer. i spent my day doing my study outside, sitting on an exercise ball. i didn't get alot done, because i was distracted by everything around me. aphids were running around the flowers, my dogs were pacing back and forth (well one was, my sheep was drowsy from the vet), and it felt like everyone around me was busy doing something. i went riding this afternoon, which was nice. im so unfit, its actually really embarrassing, but im slowly working on fixing that. i hope you are all happy and healthy regardless of where you are :)
note to readers: if anyone is thinking of getting beatles rock band, do it. it is addictive! well, that's if you like the beatles. if you don't....no comment.

jusqu'à la prochaine fois.