fast approaching.

the new year is now so close i can taste it. i think i have slowly come to realise that i am ready to move forward. this is the first year in which i can say 'yes, i am done with this year and ready to begin a new chapter'. most years i get to this time of year and i begin to panic and my anxiety becomes quite severe, as i am afraid of change for the most part. I think, though, that certain people this year have really influenced me and taught me not to fear the future but embrace it and look forward to it.

Anyway, these photos are from a shoot i did with a friend. we were walking the streets at midnight which in retrospect was probably not the best idea but i think i got some alright shots.

I hope that every one enjoyed their christmas and break and that you all embrace everything that 2010 brings!

jusqu'à la prochaine fois.

t-t-time.

well, it's christmas morning and everyone in my family is still asleep at 9am. i don't think i have ever been this un-excited for christmas in all my 17 years of life. i think as you grow up, chrtistmas becomes a little less exciting and a bit more....i don't know...just like any other day i guess. when i was 7 i went to the family christmas lunches and got lots of presents and ate too much. now i eat too much, but you realise that the presents are useless and better put into an oxfam gift of a goat or a water well. having said this, i do still enjoy the gifts i get from parents, as they know what i actually want. but the gifts you receive from your aunty, grandma and cousins from another state are usually things like a bar of soap of a book on flys, that you look at and realise how little your family knows you.

now when i go to the lunches 10 years later i see the passive aggressive anger my family hold for one another, and my teenage cousins who looks like they don't want to be there. but in christmas spirit, like most of the holidays, the main focus is put on the little kids, and i am sure that my cousins are looking forward to opening oodles of presents and believing in santa. and how i wish i could join them with that same excitement. but alas, i am a 'big kid' now and everyone knows that santa doesn't bring the 'big kids' presents, because santa is simply a fat guy in a suit that enjoys children sitting on his lap in shopping centres.

i am sure this all sounds very pessimistic, but all this aside, i do enjoy getting together with family, as we all know that family are forever. mum, in all her excitement and love for christmas and giving presents to the little ones, found a fake tree on the side of the road and picked it up. so looks like it is a second hand christmas for us. and you know what, i am completely fine with that :)

i hope that you all have a marvellous christmas and a restful time with your families and friends.

jusqu'à la prochaine fois.

lies.

i despise people lying. there is always that one trait that you value in people. whether it be honesty or courage or optimism. i value them all, but i need to have trust in those around me. but suddenly i feel like my friends are lying to me. and i cannot stand it, to the point where i find myself angry and upset. if you cant trust someone, your entire perception of the world and the people in it begin to change. i feel like everything is warped and that i just need to surround myself with positive people i can trust. after all, trust is very hard to rebuild.

jusqu'à la prochaine fois.

lost.

it's strange, the idea of losing people. not to death but literally losing people to the point where they may as well be dead. hear me out on this (bus rides to work are boring and i think strange things). say you have a friend that you have known your whole life and they leave to go to, say, india and live there. if you have no contact with them and lose the friendship, it's like 'losing' a person in your life, except with technology what it is today, they are usually easily found. i guess that's the difference with the different generations. if my grandparents had a friend who went overseas, it would be much more difficult to keep in touch with them. where as our generation hardly notices the person is gone as they are permanently on the internet talking to them through face book or skype anyway. ok, i am done with my ramble! work is nearly finished, although there is no way that i am going to be finished with the work goal after another three days of work. it seems humanly impossible at this point, but we shall see. busy weekend ahead which will be awfully tiring but very exciting. hopefully taking a lot of new photos over the next couple of days so i will be sure to keep you in the loop.

jusqu'à la prochaine fois.

'the results you achieve will be in direct proportion to the effort you apply'.

that quote came from denis waitley. no idea who that is? yeh me either. point is i recieved my results for my year 12 subject (biology) yesterday. now when i look at that quote, i get kind of mad, because no matter how much work some people put in, they will never do as well as they want. my result was alright, but very frustrating because i soo wanted a certain score, and got a score that was one point below that. i got on the computer on monday morning and logged on and enetered in my information on the website and my result popped up. there were instant tears, mainly from relief that i didn't get a really bad mark. when you are waiting so long for results you start to second guess yourself and your mind starts telling you you have done badly. then the tears just turned into frustration because i wanted a higher score. but as the glee kids so succinctly put it, 'you can't always get what you want'.

in better news, holidays are going well. i pulled out my skateboard again but quite honestly i am scared im going to break bones if i go on it for too long. im one of those crazy folk who seem to prefer their bones intact. call me old fashioned.

i have today off from work, which is nice as it gives me some time to begin the re-arranging of my room. i want to move a chair out and need to put a desk upstairs so i have a place to work next year for year 12. i don't think much else exciting is happeneing. congratulations to my best friend who got an enter to get her into her course, im like an embarrassing parents, and i am so proud of her. anyway, i'll be off. this photos is my my attempt at the whole zoom whilst shooting effect, sort of makes me dizzy looking at the result though! please feel free to give me feedback on the photos and stay well!

jusqu'à la prochaine fois.

cater-waitress.

so for the beginning of our year 12 duty as prefects, some people had to help and be waitresses for a night. a group of prefects and i all volunteered to help out. i must say, it is the most fun i have had working ever. we hardly had to serve at all, and instead just cleaned the glasses and trays, ate ice and played around in the hospitality rooms. and although there was a slight accident with a broken glass, overall it was a very good night. holidays are going really well, but i think i should be doing more of my holiday homework and reading. and although im doing what i like in art (photography) i am sort of lacking the other modes, such as painting, sketching etc. will have to have a play on photo shop soon and get familiar with warping and changing around photos. it was such a gorgeous day today. blue skies and sun, summer is finally rearing it's head!! hope you are all well and doing what you love!!

jusqu'à la prochaine fois.

self respect.

i think self respect is a big issue in today's society, because nearly no one has it. people don't realise how amazing they are and what they are capable of. a lot of my friends have disappointed me recently, because i've found myself thinking 'wow, when did you lose all respect for yourself'. i may be wrong, but it seems to be a larger issue with girls, the ones who are willing to trawl themselves all over men, with most of them complaining that they really want companionship and a long term relationship of some sort. hello!? how do you expect a guy to take you seriously if you cant take yourself seriously. when you get drunk and do who knows what with guys, why should they take you seriously? when women act this way, they are saying to men that it is ok to treat women like meat. now i understand that the media also play a large role in this self hate process, but people need to realise that they have something. it may be their voice, their art, or even their brains. the fact of the matter is there is a serious lack of respect going around and it is frankly sickening. when it comes to my posts, sorry they have been lagging a little. i started work this week with three days straight working 9-5. what a way to make a living ey?

jusqu'à la prochaine fois.

donuts and flightless mammals.

i seem to always over estimate how much i can eat. my friend and i planned to eat four sushi rolls, candy, six donuts and soft drink in the space of about 30 minutes. needless to say, we didn't quite make that milestone. got me thinking though; how we eat so much more than is necessary to keep ourselves alive. quite greedy of us really, considering the famine over the other side of the world. you would think that someone would implement some sort of system in where our world food supply was spread out across the entire globe to fuel global obesity. i know, im a dreamer, but in the words of lennon, "im not the only one". also, started some of my holiday homework for maths. already struggling through some of it, which is a worry! anyway, have to keep it short folks, got to hop in the shower and power through some 'paper work' so i can fuel my television addiction!

jusqu'à la prochaine fois.